THE LAMENT OF THE UNORTHODOXY

I never knew love could be this damaging.

It knows that pain is destroying me and stabbing me. It knows how I suffocate myself with fear and dreadful unrest and yet it does nothing to save me. It’s just there laughing and watching me burn myself to death. It’s unfair you know? All I did was let my heart beat and my world’s already gone mad.

I guess this is what I have become- a complete psycho who blames everything at love, acting like it isn’t a goddamn fallacy.  Truth is, I never did believe in it until his words crept into my head, until those euphonious, haunting sounds talked to me. The irony is there too. I try so hard to be blinded and oblivious to the hurtful truth even though I am well aware that this love will forever be unrequited. Maybe forever does exist, but this kind of forever is the kind I never wanted.

And you, you are so close yet it feels like the distance between us is one we’ll never be able to conquer. Being in the same room as you are felt like hell. I try to run away from these emotions, but these feelings, it seemed, could never be deleted.

I wish that that was all, but the torment doesn’t stop there. I hope you know it’s painful when the person you love can never love you back the same way you do; when that one person you want wants another. That girl you’re talking about, she is very lucky to be loved by you and I hope she knows that. I hope she loves you back because she means the most to the person who means the world to me.

Sometimes I wish to just be deaf because I am tortured with what I hear. I can hear my heart beating for you, but I can’t hear yours beat for me.

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