Pray

I was sorting out my book shelves and found the old prayer book I got back in third grade.

( Ahhhhhh the memories are all coming back. Third grade was when we had our first communion. We practiced over and over and over and over until our throats hurt from singing church songs, our feet shaky from standing and walking around, our taste buds tired of eggnogs, which were used as substitutes for the Holy Host. Our adviser, including the Sisters, wanted everything to be perfect. They wanted us to be ready as ever because they believed that we’re about to do something very special. Although by then, my classmates and I didn’t know the reason of being excited about a piece of bread. Well of course, it wasn’t just a piece of bread.)

After all the scanning, I found myself astounded (as always)

In the prayer book, there was a blank page intended for a personal prayer. And back in 2006, I decided to write my own prayer. I have re-read it over and over and until now; I’m still amazed with how everything turned out to be.

My prayer was only a single sentence and it goes like this:

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โ€œLord, Sana po maging first honor naman ako, kahit isang time lang at huwag niyo po kaming pababayan. Amen.โ€

I must admit, it was kinda egotistic of me.ย  Those were the days when I wanted to prove myself so bad to everyone. Those were the days when I settled for being a loser nobody cared about. I couldn’t figure out anything about life then. Maybe because I was only a kid (an emotional one I guess). Yes, had tons of dramas in my life and it shows.

My prayer eventually came true. I only asked God to help me become top one of our batch for just one time, but he granted it for 17 consecutive grading periods including high school graduation. Until now, I could not believe what happened. There are moments when I feel like I am not worthy and deserving of all the blessings I have received. I try to question myself, โ€˜What have I ever done to be loved by God like this and this much?โ€. I guess thatโ€™s how God works. We ask and he gives us more than what we ask for. I told my parents about it and made them read my prayer I wrote 9 years ago. All they could do was smile and they looked a bit teary-eyed.

The things prayer could do to a person is just unimaginable. Along the way, I have never forgotten the value of prayer and the belief that God’s goodness is always overpouring. God will always be there and hear me. This brought me to the deeper and better understanding of my faith. Every single blessing I enjoy right now is all because I let God enter into my life. I always knew God loves me, but I never knew he loves me that much. I am His and will always be.